How to keep indoor plants alive, as told through LEGO® bricks

Did you know, that looking after home plants can improve general feelings of happiness by anywhere between 300 – 600% and has been clinically proven to provide the same boost to your mood as being given a gift basket of puppies?

Now, it’s worth saying at this point that you can’t blindly trust statistics. In particular these statistics, which we admittedly just completely made up.

But they sounded like they could be real, right? And we reckon that any and all potential ways to boost moods, however spurious, should at least be given a chance to take effect... right? 

So let’s look at how to tend to your house plants, both natural and those made with, say for example, LEGO® bricks. For these latter forms of plant, we’ll use the example of the new LEGO® Bonsai tree. Inspired by the Japanese tradition, a healthy and well-maintained Bonsai tree symbolises peace, harmony and an order of thoughts. In other words, three things that we all need a lot more of in 2021…

1. Don’t overwater

Different plants need different amounts of water. Take a medium-sized rose bush, for example, which needs about five gallons of water a week. When it comes to the LEGO Bonsai Tree, you’re going to wanna give it at least five gallons less water per week than you’d give to a medium-sized rose bush.

2. Don’t underwater

The LEGO Bonsai tree is, by definition, impossible to underwater. In the sense that any amount of water is overwatering. But we thought we’d put it in anyway.

3. Make sure you use the right soil

It may be a surprise to learn this, but some plants like different kinds of soil. Lilacs, for example, prefer alkaline soil, whereas magnolias flourish in more acidic soil. Our Bonsai tree will flourish in the brick-based soil that comes in the box.

4. Give it light

Plants love light – and our Bonsai tree is no different. Whereas some flowers, like orchids, don’t do so well in bright light, our Bonsai tree loves being in a well-lit room, where it is as visible as possible. Locking it away in a basement without any sun has the potential to make your Bonsai tree unhappy, lonely and (in some extreme cases) vengeful.

5. Sing to them

When you sing, you produce more CO2 than if you were breathing. Plants take CO2 and turn it into oxygen, in an alchemistic practice that no-one understands and if they tell you they understand it they’re lying. We therefore strongly encourage you to sing to your Bonsai tree. As in, so strongly that it’s basically mandatory at this point. The Bonsai tree is a fan of early-nineteenth century German opera, although it will accept most forms of pre-20th century European opera. It will not accept any opera by Benjamin Britten currently, although we are attempting to rectify this fault. Also you have to sing in a public place. Like a train station. That’s the rules.